im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
