I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
