what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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