She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
