I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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