i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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