Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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