Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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