Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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