I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
