Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
