I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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