Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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