Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I need moral support for this bender
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
