i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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