quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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