I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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