there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
