I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
