you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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