didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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