Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
