Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
