Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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