dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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