there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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