WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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