Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize