Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
