I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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