Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
