GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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