What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
