omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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