We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
