forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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