He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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