everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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