More tranny stories later!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
