dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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