Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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