I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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