I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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