Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
