I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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