youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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