It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
