I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize