So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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