Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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