You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm both gender and math confused
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
