I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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