come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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