Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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