So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
