when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
