Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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