Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
