youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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