I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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