I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You smell like stripper and shame
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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