she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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